Demonitisation is a bitch 

I want my frivolous fake delhi back !!! 

I'm extremely irritated about this whole demonetisation scheme , not because I'm worried of loosing my millions stored in black in stashes in the attic ( like half of delhi ) , but more so because all the cool overpriced loved cafes and luxury malls filled with Indo trash people and hoity toity aunties carrying Chanels , have all suddenly become desertedly empty and , all these fake women and wannabe socialites have totally vanished and it's like the whole atmosphere has become so un-delhi !

Clearly everyone is running from pillar to post trying to deposit those ancient 1000s , suddenly pay off previous debts which they've remembered just at this moment thinking it would be good karma to give back rotting useless currency !! lol ! And every snooty bitch in town has been reduced to a mere slave of the silver Amex card , also proving to them for the first time ever ,that there exists something more plastic than their personalities  ,and here's the twist , that's more useful tooo !!

Husbands are screaming at their wives for "not spending " a super secret lump of cash ! 

Parents are filling their kids bank accounts and the kids are laughing their way to the banks with dreams of clearing out Hamleys soon ... 

A lot of the house help is so excited and ecstatic to see the rich in misery !!!(Ps : Bitch who pays for your existence in this city ? )

The chaffeurs are laughing each time their madam Ji gives them 3000 rupee to get a tank full in the 3rd car again ! (Ps :  if madam ji starts driving by herself you will not be laughing then !! Get rid of that smirk, be loyal and wish well ) 

The factory workers are more than enthusiastic to queue in the banks to get the currency exchanged for their bosses and hence waste time and do no work and ofcourse verbally take pride in the fact that they're more helpful ! Gossip is their favourite pastime currently and they're betting about on the value of their bosses' secret stash !!!

Bank managers are like "czars" right now and anyone on their bad side , need be ,financially beheaded ! 

What a not so royal mess all this is !!! This is a sheer wastage of time and funds , medium to big businesses will be shut , the poor will get poorer , and the country is taking a step back towards poverty and low standards of existence and an extremely medieval times lifestyle too !! (India : next world power ? Confident earlier , Not sure now )

My only fear is that after years of struggle and hard work and almost a dozen miracles later ,  Delhites were atleast trying to level up their game .. And with their Goyard totes and Benz convertibles , they were atleast drawing some similarities with the lifestyle and fashion of the International modern society!! Wasn't that a face saver when we have tourists here ? Wasn't that good for the society where the rich flourish and yet the poor grow too along.. ( may be slowly but atleast they are not in a crisis like now )

All our past hardwork is in vain !!! The other day at the mall felt like it was 2003 ... Few people scattered around who've probably come for a walk or window shopping , there were almost zero sales , and I honestly had an extremely negative feeling that if this usually bustling mall that makes sales for a few crores every week is in this sad state , I only wonder about the rest of the economy .... 

The real dilemma here is that are we going back to once again be known as just a land of snake charmers and folk dancers ?!?!? ( And ofcourse amazing chai ! )

-NT

Indo Trash - Part 1

Spotted: The overtly blabber mouth insufferable "Iknow everybody and everything " roundish person !!!! (Everyone knows atleast one person like this in their lives )

It begins with a "Heyyyyyyy" with an extended vowelly sound that can make glasses crack or make the most sophisticated people shrivel and curl in disapproval ,or perhaps even destroy a sparrow's natural habitat !!!! Please calm yourself girl and utilize all those extra kilocalories of energy to go mine coal or something !!!! Seriously , it's Not only extremely rude to be that loud publicly , but there is a Basic code of conduct one follows even while socialising !!!! 

This "extra need for attention " clan can be found in what's come to be wrongly known as the "internationally acceptable fashionably cool" uniform in india , namely  "a pair of white sneakers and a loose unflattering teeshirt-ish dress " !!! As if the outfit wasn't disappointing and frumpy enough, the last thing I need to hear is the person talking and lecturing about her "new look" flaunting it like its her original millennial invention !!!

I think they are the soul of an angry gorilla or actually may be an estranged donkey , trapped in a humans body that they keep "hee-hawing" infinitely !!!! They can't seem to shut up ever!! Most of the time they are pompously showing off some new shopping , some new people they met or busy pretending to be "vir sanghavis " female equivalent , talking incessantly about a new type of nigiri zushi they had last night !!! Sweet Heart , we all know of the satisfying "double cheese pizza with Diet Coke " that u gobbled up right after those 2 tiny pieces of sushi (which I truly believe must have felt like throwing a stone in an empty well !!! ) Not that I'm telling you to shy away from ur love for food , or going out , or socialising but u can also shut up at regular intervals , tone down that volume , and let others enjoy all of that too...

As a matter of fact , nobody likes a "loud and proud " person who talks big , but thinks and acts small... 

Attention seeking isn't a competitive sport !

Most times , a magical feeling of serenity and calm takes over ,and honestly it's such a relief to the ears and the eyes toooo , the moment they leave the restaurant or the party they were disturbing and disrupting, by just being present there !!!

In most cases i prefer to stay miles afar from them and their ambient trash talk... But , The one thing i relish more than a palpable serving of an avocado California roll , is the very insulting sight , of these noise polluters being thrown out of a posh restaurant for improper behaviour , proving yet again that they're correctly labelled as Indo- trash !!!! 

-NT

Fashion beggars or Fashion bloggers ??

Every now and then we hear scientists discover a new species of insects or a new type of sea creature and we bask and blabber about the infinite glory of the universe...

Roughly 2 or 3 years ago, in India , a new species of unemployed graduates sitting at home with nothing to do started developing an almost medical condition of desperation for attention ,and fortunately had enough pocket money to invade the dusty streets of Sarojini nagar ,to fetch a few clothes and afford an Iphone to click them in those clothes and post them everywhere on social media...And hence they embarked on a new journey of another low in their lives , calling themselves fashion bloggers.....

Post their genesis, What this species particularly survives on, is leeching off designers by shamelessly asking for free clothes ,free jewelry ,free scarves, free footwear or free anything...Believe me, they'll literally take anything that is free..... And in return they post one slimy ,pathetic ,sad selfie with the free merchandise not even giving the designers enough credit or a decent grammatically correct note of gratitude...  Most posts by these bloggers are erratically written in some dialect resembling English with an absolute absence of any knowledge whatsoever about the fabric, the weave, the philosophy, the designers roots , embroidery details etc..and No they don't want to even try and comprehend any of the details because all they care about is the "free stuff" or their occasional 1000 rupees cheques.. In this barter system that is extremely one sided , a shallow 6 sentences with their brain numbing 250 words vocabulary , calling a product "pretty ,nice or designer ", just doesnt make the cut ...

I do understand that this pool of fashion bloggers mostly includes struggling frustrated housewives with literally nothing to do , or once under employed girls who couldn't crack entrance examinations to get a decent course ,or wannabe fashion anythings , or a few boys with major ego and gender based issues , but please get me one honest, diligent, original, fashion blogger in this country who knows their job well and I would thankfully and happily shower them with all the gifts and money they deserve ....

In my opinion , they're so desperate for any kind of free merchandise that I'd rather call them fashion beggars, and the only gift they deserve is a reality check and a copy of Webster's 500 page pocket thesaurus !!!!!

-NT

Cape of no Hope ! 

Come October, and the average pretty SATC fanatic college girl / wannabe socialite lines up in "drag" outfits to see fashion shows , pose for glorified so called fashion bloggers and sip cheap free wine, pretending to be a part of this world of fashion and pretending further to hav a precise awareness of style and latest trends by attending the amazon india fashion week ....Phew, a long sentence later , which was anyways a derogatory but apt description of the mediocrity of the fashion week , this October 2016 , the event struck another low !!!!!

Some Ugly alien clothing trends which were miles afar from the term "fashion" took over the whole event.. I could only see a polluted sea of confused individuals designing and wearing clothes that scream mediocracy and idiocracy, defeat comfort and I wouldn't feel the slightest guilt putting them on fire with or without the person in them !  ....... Fashion bloggers seem to have hit new lows by clicking anyone whos cross dressing or anyone in a brand they are publicising by gorging on free merchandise and cheques as low as 500 bucks !!!!

People Wearing black sunglasses in the dark halls, boys wearing chokers, girls with no necks wearing chokers,purple velvet jacket with mirror work looking like a recycled quilt , oversized tunics on oversized females resembling tents in the arabian , prints that scream "wannabe" cool ,were a few lows

Disappointing !!! Whats worse is the fact that every other label in the week seems to be obsessed with the idea of making respected Anamika Khanna-esque capes suddenly and shamelessly showcasing them without a streak of consciousness !!!! Creativity is officially dead !

Dont make the effort of chewing your drivers brains to go faster through the monstrous traffic in govind puri (super un-chic venue ) to reach here ,then ride a silly rickshaw-esque vehicle (think poor golf carts ) and then finally entering this so over rated event. I'd rather sit at home,stream Paris Fashion Week shows online and try and experience what a real deal fashion week is all about !!!!!

-NT